So a blogger friend over here http://blogs.litnet.co.za/TS24/lekker
posted a few pretty photos of mushrooms and toadstools and enquired over true love and false love. And isn't false love at least better than no love?
And with the Royal wedding successfully completed and on most peoples' minds, I wondered along myself...
How does one define such? What separates the two? Can true love become false love? Or was it false from the beginning and we were just too desperate, too needy, too high on hormones to see such? And can false love ever become true love?
I believe everyone has their own defintions, even experiences of the two.
To me false love is also only recognised when our myths of 'true love' fails....and it can fail a million times due to a million different reasons...(just look at Hollywood and our own soaps....). As a young girl I was brought up in a divorced family with no love lost between the two parents. But I believed in fairy tales and happy endings...just as Walt Disney would have us believe. My favourite was always Cinderella...why I have no idea...maybe she ended up with the most handsome prince, or maybe she had the prettiest dress of them all. Till today Cinderella is my favourite princess, though Katy might have just won in th stakes yesterday...
As I look back on my relatively short life, I can say I survived one false love and carry with me two true loves. As per my definition. My false love was from the beginning false, though one does not see it as such. Perhaps our memories also change our true loves into false loves long the way (and vice versa)...
For me False love is that based on pure need, self want, sex and hormones, glorious though they may be at the time, the part that you can't help yourself but want him/her, withno thought to anything else, and finally at some stage, you'll recognise you need more than the hormones. You need the acceptance of who you are as you are, the non jealousy, that little space that just allows you to breathe, that comes along with the internal liking and love of yourself that true love propogates....
In the absence of these, false love resides. I've experienced it on a very deep level and it takes a while to see such and get out of such, because of course the hormones could be Prince Charming, the one and only one at the time...but eventually you might see the frog and not the Prince...
My two true loves I carry with me...one he died, and the other he still lives...are my true loves for what they meant to me. For what they allowed me to believe in and be true to. And perhaps the hormones might not have worked so hard here, but the part that are true in you and him, they came along for the ride(s).
In my current studies, one of my subjects is Marriage Guidance. Although it's not something at this stage I would like to major in, there are other majors I want to do, it's pretty interesting reading and background material - especially since I try see where such fits into the life of hubbie and myself, and even my mom and dad. All the cliches you read about - for example that respect and liking come along with love, knowing who you are before taking on someone else, the influences positive and negative of different languages, different religions, different cultures , backgrounds, upbringings and thus references in life - these all do truly impact on a marriage. Of course they can also be overcome.
Just depends how much who want to overcome them, and the impact of overcoming them...if it stillkeeps you intact and sane as opposed to discarding the tru you at the center of this all...of course we all change at sometimes in our life,responses to our changing environment - our work, socio and political, family environments...but love will always have a good effect on you...well that's my belief....
And if not then perhaps you should just go check...eiher you changed into a frog or the other one did...
But I believe in true love and Princes and Princesses. Even if they come along without a title and a crown...
LG
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